Mr. Kim and his wife

By Lairam Vapual

Mr. Kim and his foreign wife have been married for more than four years now. They have two lovely children and have been enjoying a happy family life. Although they both came from different cultures and backgrounds, speaking different languages, that has never been a problem. They understand each other, they forgive and care for one another and they love each another.

They both share their pain and sorrow, their happiness and joy. They have the same dreams and together they have gone through thick and thin many times. They depend upon and respect one another and they have all the qualities good parents need to maintain their small family. They have also accumulated a considerable wealth, the result of their four years' labor.

But surprisingly, Mr. Kim announces out of the blue that he is going to divorce his foreign wife. The main reason, he says, is that he can now maintain his family without the help of his wife. He says he is able to take care of his children and can run a happy family without her help. He can enjoy anything without her and so he does not need her anymore.

On the other hand, his wife is shocked and sad. She feels pain, and is bitter and hurt. She feels cheated, broken, betrayed, trapped and discarded. She feels abandoned.

But slowly and gradually, she manages to gather her strength. She encourages and comforts herself. Then she humbly appeals to her husband to reconsider his position. She requests, persuades and hopes. But her husband is adamant and does not budge or show any sign of compassion. He does not seem to understand. Instead, he sets a deadline for her to leave the family and acts as if he were a total stranger.

However, she also persists. She holds her ground and stays the course. She meekly asks him again and again to change his mind and accept her as his lawful wife. This time, her good neighbors and some sympathizers stand with her. Nevertheless, he still does not want to comply and grant her humble request.

Instead, Mr. Kim postpones the deadline further to give his wife enough time to prepare for her departure. His position is still the same?- leave this family and go home to your parents by the set deadline.

With tears pouring down her cheeks, she weeps out loud and now she cannot eat. She cannot drink or sleep and pours out her broken heart to neighbors and friends who want to share her feelings. She is deeply upset and miserable. She knows she respects her husband and she also knows she loves this family. That is why she has invested all her time and energy in it for all those years. This family has become her joy, her hope and her life. She has already been tied to it, but now she is being told to leave it.

As pressure from neighbors and friends grows larger, Mr. Kim is forced to make some concessions. Finally, he reluctantly offers his wife a compromise with some strings attached. He says she can live with this family for another three more years on condition that she first goes back to her parents' home and stays there for six months.

Now this is really a mixed blessing as well as a big headache for her. She thinks very hard. She considers and imagines. There would not be much of a problem to go back home. Still she ponders. Will she be able to come back to this family after six months? Will her parents willingly give their consent? Can she afford to pay all the expenses? What about passport and visa? What about legal documents, which are usually very complicated, and other red tape?

She is not very certain whether she will be able to come back at all. She is not sure. After all, she is a migrant worker, who has experienced herself how difficult it was to come into this family, Korea.

Fifth Article (Feb. 3, 2004)
The Korea Herald (A Reader's View)